Ode to an Insulin Pump (D-Blog Week Day 6: Diabetes Art Day)

Today's D-Blog Week prompt:

This year Diabetes Art moves up from the Wildcard choices as we all channel our creativity with art in the broadest sense. Do some “traditional” art like drawing, painting, collage or any other craft you enjoy. Or look to the literary arts and perhaps write a d-poem or share and discuss a favorite quote. Groove to some musical arts by sharing a song that inspires you diabetes-wise, reworking some song lyrics with a d-twist, or even writing your own song. Don’t forget dramatic arts too, perhaps you can create a diabetes reality show or play. These are just a starting point today – there are no right or wrong ways to get creative!

This is tough for me, as most of my blog seems to already be diabetes art of some kind! You could check out the beginning of a mystery novel here, song parodies here and here, or the beginning of a diabetes Law and Order episode here (I will finish that someday, but I don't have the energy right now)! I get intimidated by art prompts, as I consider myself (or have been considered to be; sometimes I doubt myself) some kind of writer. I actually have a short diabetes-based relationship play I wrote back in mid-college when I was trying to figure things out for myself; I'd post it but I'd probably embarrass myself.  So today you get something quick and dirty: a Shakespearean sonnet parody (okay, I might be one of few people who call a Shakespearean sonnet parody quick and dirty). Diabetes seems to lend itself to Shakespeare; it's full of both wild comedy and high tragedy. If you want to quibble about the occasional extra syllable leading to a "feminine ending" of a line, I say it adds to the analysis, as a "feminine ending" often relates to indecision or distress.  Anyway, now that I've analyzed myself, I leave you with:

Ode to an Insulin Pump

Shall I compare thee to a pancreas?
Thou art external and more temperamental
Rough numbers do shake me as the hours pass
And homeostasis, achieved, seems incidental

Sometime too high the glucose rises up
And my once-pale complexion turns to rose
Or dropping fast, an orange-juice-filled cup
Must quell my shakes ‘fore everybody knows

Thy Bolus Wizard magics up a dose
Thy Basal, steadfast on its course it stays
And though you help me as I keep you close
Still, I feel you are shortening my days

My true one vanished, leaving but my fears:
That cruel promise, to “wait but five more years!”


-Ilana

The Shakesbetes Rep Company

Shakespeare is famous for astutely writing about the human condition, but I think it would be even more awesome had he written about the diabetic condition. One Wednesday's DSMA introduced the idea of Shakesbetes (the writer, not the hypoglycemic reaction). Since then, I've been thinking about various plays for the Shakesbetes Rep Company, exploring what a comedy or tragedy this condition can be. So in honour (or in dishonour) of Shakespeare's birthday today, here's a partial list:

‘Betes Andronicus: Tamora, upon hearing that the pie she has consumed was made from his own children, freaks out because she now has no idea of the pie’s carb count.

A Midsummer Night’s Low: four young people in love bitchily stumble around making poor choices as if drunk, for no apparent reason.

Hancet: Suspicious of the circumstances surrounding his father’s death, a young man bluntly needles everyone around him, running several of them through.

As You Spike It: Rosalind is a pizza, but she dresses up as salad to get closer to Orlando. He can’t figure out why she makes him feel so funny inside.

Twelfth Night Correction: A mother tests the BGs of her twin T1 children, Viola and Sebastian, twelve times over the course of the time she should be sleeping. After mistaking their readings for one another’s, she gives up and throws herself into the sea.

The Winter’s Fail: Furious at his meter’s inability to work in cold weather, Leontes orders it to be destroyed, but comes to repent his jealous decision. Features the famous stage direction: Exit, pursued by a carb.

Oh Hell No: Jealousy over who has the lower A1c grows toxic, and results in strangulation.

King Liver: When a ruling organ goes to divide his inheritance, he asks each hormone how much she loves him. Insulin says, “I love you according to my bond, which makes you more permeable to glucose and activates enzyme systems, helping you uptake and properly use sugar.” He disinherits her.

The Error Fives of Windsor: A madcap blood glucose sex comedy, wherein Falstaff fails to get either the girl or a correct reading.

The Merchant of Medicine: A pharmaceutical company demands its pound of flesh when Antonio cannot produce his insurance policy. (The Merchant of Menace?)

Much Ado About Nothing: Is Beatrice having complications, is she Real People Sick, or is she just tired? Whatever it is, Benedick is going to get an earful.

The Comedy of Errors: When a pair of twins, one a T1 and one a T2 diabetic, are mistaken for each other, “hilarious” misconceptions and judgments ensue.

Love’s Labour’s Lost in Measure for Measure: An A1c just won’t come down, no matter how much work our protagonist puts in to a regimen.

Something tells me funding for the Shakesbetes Rep Company may be limited. But that’s okay. All’s well that ends well.

-Ilana