Diabetes Blog Week 2016 Day 2: The Other Half of Diabetes

Click for the The Other Half of Diabetes - Tuesday 5/17 Link List.
We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? (If you are a caregiver to a person with diabetes, write about yourself or your loved one or both!)

For this prompt, I let my inner voices out. If you know me, you’ll know that my inner voices are usually singing, and more specifically, generally singing a song parody of some kind.

If you haven’t seen or heard of the musical Hamilton (about Founding Father Alexander Hamilton and his rivalry with Aaron Burr), well, watch the Tonys in June, where it’s assured to win a boatload of them. I’ve parodied Hamilton relentlessly over the last several months, but the layered meanings to My Shot in relation to diabetes were just too tempting to resist. (You can play this while you’re reading for the backing track. Even if you don’t read this post, give it a listen!)

Diabetes is a disease with an incredibly multifaceted mental impact, and all sorts of emotions -  positive, negative, and somewhere in between – get showcased on a daily basis. They all get a turn here.

MY SHOT

[DETERMINED ME]

I am not taking another shot

I am not taking another shot

You know my blood sugar’s funky

I’m tired and I’m hungry

But I’m not taking another shot

[ANGRY ME]

Got a busted pancreas, I can’t dial it

I don’t mean to whine, but fine

It makes me a bit violent

The trouble is I got a lot of brains

But no islets

I have to bolus just to survive

It’s harder to thrive

With no pilot

I’m a bunch of damaged goods

It isn’t curable

Trying to reach my goal

With my A1cs –uninsurable

Needs to be 6 but it’s always higher

My endo thinks that I’m a liar – inquire

‘Bout my burden, bout my disadvantage

Yes, it’s hard to manage

Got no self-control to brandish

Emotionally famished

I’m cheerin’, but years in, there’s no major change

Think I’m going to explode when asked if I’m out of range

I have the D-I-A-B-E-T-E-

S: yes, a mess, nothing’s free

It’s nice to see me run independently

Meanwhile, media’s misleading on us endlessly

Essentially, reporting relentlessly

Then the world turns around and starts blaming me

They ain’t never gonna see what we oversee

So there will be a revolution in the D-O-C

Enter me!

(I say in a Tweet or three)

Don’t be shocked when I tell you what’s bothering me

I won’t hide in my pride if it sets us free

Potentially, we’ll all talk eventually

And I am not taking another shot

I am not taking another shot

You know my blood sugar’s funky

I’m tired and I’m hungry

But I’m not taking another shot!

[HYPOGLYCEMIC ME]

I dream of life without the dreaded D

This chronic mess will be the death of me

Glucose-less – would you guess, I can’t be – glucose free?

When I’m low, I get a little bit panicky

(A sugar shot!)

[REBELLIOUS ME]

Yo, I’m your frustration speaking

And I guess control again is all that I’m seeking

I’m joining the rebellion ‘cause who cares if I test

Come on, give it a rest, I know I’ll never be best

Maybe I’ll skip a shot!

[DISILLUSIONED ME]

But we’ll never be truly free

Until we’re all cured and get to process that mentally

We can’t cry –we’ve run dry – promises, valiant

But they’re stagnant, actual progress absent

Take another shot!

[CASH-STRAPPED AND SCARED ME]

Hey I don’t mean to alarm ya

But we can’t really talk that way in front of Big Pharma

They give life, want us to give them the big bucks

Insurance is like Lady Luck

If you don’t have her, you get ------ [a shot!]

[HOPEFUL ME]

You guys, check what we got

Now there’s all this tech, years ago, we had squat

I think we’ve got a shot

We’re privileged, it’s our strong spot

We take our chances with advances and succeed a lot

What are the odds we’ll plod through without positive thought?

You know we’re taught that the job’s part mental, like it or not

But still I wonder, with ambition, how efficient simply wishing is?

Point me in position, tell me what our next new mission is!

Oh, am I talkin’ too loud?

Sometimes I get over-excited, a little bit proud

With a community of friends around

It’s hard to stay completely down - 

(Let’s get this me in front of a crowd!)

[DETERMINED ME]

And I am not taking another shot

I am not taking another shot

You know my blood sugar’s funky

I’m tired and I’m hungry

But I’m not taking another shot

Everybody sing: whoa…

Shout it to the rooftops

Rise up

When you’re stereotyped and teased, you rise up

Don’t doubt your expertise, you rise up

Autoimmunities gotta rise up

We’ll defeat this disease and rise up 

We’ll defeat this disease and rise up 

We’ll defeat this disease and rise up 

We’ll defeat this disease and rise up 

Rise up

[DEPRESSED ME]

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

When’s it gonna get me?

In my sleep? One last thing that’s bled from me?

We all see it coming – will we run, or have the strength to flee?

Just one more blue candle in a litany?

See, I never thought I’d live past twenty

Diagnosis: some get half as many

Ask anybody why we sometimes cheat and go sweet, reach for a treat

We’re all completely incomplete – that’s plenty

[DETERMINED ME]

Scratch that-

These are mental moments, not a movement

If we’re all coming together with

All our improvements

So, oppose us? We’re going to take a stand 

Speak out and reach out, hand held in black-flecked hand

And? Can we win our independence?

Once and for all defeat depression’s menace?

Or will the blood we shed beget an endless

Cycle of codependence with no hope of transcendence?

[ALL OF ME]

I know uniting is exhausting, uninviting

But please, just, between all this bleedin’ and fightin’

Complications are frightnin’

It’s hard to handle this financial situation!

Are we a Nation of D? Is disease our whole nation?

I’m past patiently waitin’! I’m passionately

Smashin’ passive advocatin’

We need action, not traction, creation!

We’re laughin’ in the face of nearly endless sorrow

We’ll win this day by thinkin’ of tomorrow

And I am not taking another shot

I am not taking another shot

You know my blood sugar’s funky

I’m tired and I’m hungry

But I’m not taking another shot

And I am not taking another shot

I am not taking another shot

You know my blood sugar’s funky

I’m tired and I’m hungry

But I’m not taking another shot

We’ve got to take this shot!

Rise up!

We’ve got to take this shot!

So we can not take yet another

Not take yet another

Shot!