Di-ronic

This began with an "empty cartridge" alarm waking me up at 6am on a Sunday. My apologies to Alanis. Warning: much like the original, many of these situations do not fit the technical definition of irony (however, I think this song might have a higher percentage of actually ironic incidents than the original).

A young girl, turning thirteen

She gets diagnosed…on her best friend’s birthday

Getting low but not drunk

From your chardonnay

It’s a death row pardon

But you still have to pay

And isn’t it Di-ronic

Don’t you think?

When you exercise

And your blood sugar strays

You eat utter crap

Oh and NOW you’re in range

When the media say

Type 1 and 2 are the same

And who would have thought

It figures

Mr. Play It Safe

Was afraid to drive

He tested every time

Just so he’d stay alive

One day his BG crashed

He’d only gone for a block

The news said – treat him with insulin

He’s in diabetic shock

And isn’t it Di-ronic

Don’t you think?

It’s like everyone

Thinking you should be fat

It’s some clueless guy

Asking can you eat that

Your endo knows you less

Than #dsma Twitter chat

And who would have thought

It figures

And D has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right

But D has a funny way, of helping you out when

You think everything’s gone wrong- it makes you the person you are today

An immune system

That’s just making you sick

The nurse judging your whole life

From one finger stick

It’s like you’ve got one strip left

And all you get’s “Error Five”

It’s nearly dying of a low

From the substance that keeps you alive

And isn’t it Di-ronic, don’t you think?

A little too Di-ronic – and yeah I really do think

You do the same thing,

Get a different result

And you always think

That it must be your fault

Your D’s juvenile

Though you’re now an adult

And who would have thought

It figures

Well you never sought

But now you can’t hide

The province pays for pumps

But not the insulin inside?

“Oh, it’s not that bad;”

Well it’s just your whole life

And who would have thought

It figures

And D has a funny way of sneaking up on you

And D has a funny, funny way,

Of helping you out

Helping you out