This began with an "empty cartridge" alarm waking me up at 6am on a Sunday. My apologies to Alanis. Warning: much like the original, many of these situations do
not fit the technical definition of irony (however, I think this song might
have a higher percentage of actually ironic incidents than the original).
A young girl, turning thirteen
She gets diagnosed…on her best friend’s birthday
Getting low but not drunk
From your chardonnay
It’s a death row pardon
But you still have to pay
And isn’t it Di-ronic
Don’t you think?
When you exercise
And your blood sugar strays
You eat utter crap
Oh and NOW you’re in range
When the media say
Type 1 and 2 are the same
And who would have thought
It figures
Mr. Play It Safe
Was afraid to drive
He tested every time
Just so he’d stay alive
One day his BG crashed
He’d only gone for a block
The news said – treat him with insulin
He’s in diabetic shock
And isn’t it Di-ronic
Don’t you think?
It’s like everyone
Thinking you should be fat
It’s some clueless guy
Asking can you eat that
Your endo knows you less
Than #dsma Twitter chat
And who would have thought
It figures
And D has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going
right
But D has a funny way, of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong- it makes you the person
you are today
An immune system
That’s just making you sick
The nurse judging your whole life
From one finger stick
It’s like you’ve got one strip left
And all you get’s “Error Five”
It’s nearly dying of a low
From the substance that keeps you alive
And isn’t it Di-ronic, don’t you think?
A little too Di-ronic – and yeah I really do think
You do the same thing,
Get a different result
And you always think
That it must be your fault
Your D’s juvenile
Though you’re now an adult
And who would have thought
It figures
Well you never sought
But now you can’t hide
The province pays for pumps
But not the insulin inside?
“Oh, it’s not that bad;”
Well it’s just your whole life
And who would have thought
It figures
And D has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And D has a funny, funny way,
Of helping you out
Helping you out
