Twenty Years With Type 1: I'm Still Here

Twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Twenty. Years.

Twenty years of this nonsense. Twenty years of my own body trying to kill me.

But, here's the thing:

I'M STILL HERE.

I think it might be the bravest and best thing I've ever done.

And since it wouldn't be me without a song: I'm Still Here.

Low blood and high blood
I’ve seen it all, and my dear
I’m still here
Ready-to-die blood
Fueled up with pretzels and beer
But I’m here
Had some endurance with some pills,
Lost my insurance, paid the bills
Seen ACA disappear?
But I’m here

I’ve slept in terror, scared that I wouldn’t wake up
And I’m here
Test strips in error, sometimes you pee in a cup
But I’m here
I’ve waited boldly for a cure
Five years, they told me, to be sure
It's sure nice for those lab mice; a cure's their career
But I don’t squeak, so I’ll cheer
That I’m here

I’ve been through bleeding, Lantus, R and NPH
And I’m here
Minute-per-reading, grant us our hands from the aches
But they’re here
I’ve stuffed my face with glucose tabs
Gave to the arms race in those labs
It was my arm, but don’t raise the alarm
For a spear
Though they drain more every year
I’m still here

I’ve gotten through teenage angst, denial and anger
Doing my shots in the dark
When you’ve gotten through teenage angst, denial and anger
Now it's a walk in the park

Misinformation, food police, “Can you eat that”
But I’m here
Tech's a frustration, tubing got chewed by my cat
But I’m here
All the directions made me grump
Then the injections, then the pump
Still makes me jump, and I feel like a chump
But I’m freer
Though it's no match to detaching
I’m still here

Pancreas one day, next day it's good as a block,
But I’m here
Great readings Monday, Tuesday you’ve gone into shock,
But I’m here
First, when you enter, learning stuff, then you’re the mentor, learned enough
You’re without fear, it appears to a peer
I think I veer more than steer
But I’m here

I’ve suffered through: “have you had out of range readings?”
No, perfect sugars they were…
Or better yet: “Why did you have that one reading
Six months ago?” - I’ll confer

High blood and low blood, I’ve seen it all, and my dear
I’m still here
My life is no dud, just a bit sweeter, more dear
‘Cause I’m here
Chasing that perfect A1c
Perfect, I sure checked, isn’t me
Practice makes perfect except that the rules aren’t clear
This is the unknown frontier
But I’m here
I’m still here
I’m still here!